As I was scrolling through Facebook today, I came across an article that said NBA superstar player Kawhi Leonard still drives a ’97 Chevy even though he has a 94 MILLION dollar contract.You’ve all seen this car before.
It’s not the prettiest looking thing(especially not being brand new) but his reasoning is: it runs and it is paid off. My first reaction: a round of applause. If more people thought this way, there would be more millionaires and billionaires in the world. As I am getting older, the value of material things gets less and less and the prospect of wealth and stability become more and more valuable. Wes and I are working toward building wealth and preparing for retirement (we’ll be sharing more about that soon). I want to be in a better standing than my parents were and I want my children to be in a better standing than I was. I know a lot of people that wish they had had better financial plans at 24 years old. Kawhi is on the right track to be well established for the rest of his life and not just for the rest of his career.
These past two weeks have been trying for W and I. Aside from the usual busyness that is our lives, we attended two funeral services for people that were dear to us. It had only been a few months since we had seen either of them. Now it seemed both of them were gone out of nowhere. These gentle souls didn’t know each other but one thing resonated throughout both of their services: love each other. Right now. It may feel like you have forever but we truly don’t know what the next day, the next hour or the next minute holds. These people always reached out with love to the people around them and it was evident in those at the services. Whether you knew them for a week or a decade, you felt the love they exuded to the world. So many lives were touched by the work of their hands. It was amazing to see. So my declaration for now and going into the new year is to love more. If it’s saying good morning to a colleague, one to ones with a crazy student or folding the laundry even though I hate doing it, I’m going to do it. Because you never know how that may affect someone. And this world could use a little more love in it.
Yesterday, Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez announced they are calling it quits. They join the ranks of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale, Kaley Cuoco and Ryan Sweeting, even Kermit and Miss Piggy. And yes, they are all human beings like the rest of us but you can’t help but ask: Why do celebrity marriages break up?
Sex, money and communication are three biggest factors in a marriage. (Thank you Edwin Louis Cole). Problems with sex and communication I can understand. But when I think of celebrities, I automatically think money. Money can be a source of stress as it pertains to stability. If there is tension with money, this can lead to a lack of intimacy between husband and wife. What happens when you have money? When worrying about bills isn’t necessarily an issue? You think with a couple making millions of dollars, this would be the least of their concerns.
What do you think? Does it make sense?
Here’s the link to the article that sparked my interest. Happy reading!
Why all the celebrity divorces lately?
Times have changed. Gone is the notion of the stay at home woman. The average woman these days has a career, in addition to taking care of the home. (And as I’m typing this, I’m waiting for dinner to finish, drying my hair and completing my lesson plans for tomorrow). This was something that I personally struggled with when we first got married. The thought of trying to build a career (and being fully vested in it) as well as building a home was no less than daunting. When Wesley and I got married, I was teaching full-time and was in school full-time. I barely had enough time to sleep, let alone cook dinner every night. So when he would get upset that things around the house weren’t done, or we were eating take out one more time, I would also get upset. Why couldn’t he just understand that Iwas busy? Why was he putting me back in the 1950’s?
Then after the umpteenth disagreement, we sat and really hashed out what our expectations were of our roles as husband and wife. The expectations we both had were based on how we were brought up. In Wesley’s family, the women took care of the house. No question. In my family, the women worked and brought home the money. My mother was as single mother, so a strong, working woman was my model. We decided to agree on the roles both of us would have. I would assume the household duties when I could. When I was busy or had deadlines, he would pick up where I left off. It wasn’t fair to him to have to do it all by himself. We both cook, clean and do laundry. And this works for us.
When I agreed to become Wesley’s wife, I agreed to be one half of our unit. So using work and life as an excuse to get out of that wasn’t ok. I promised to take care of him and our family. And the same for him. If this means that some days, work goes on the back burner so that I can make his favorite meal, then so be it. If it means doing a little more planning on the weekend, so that during the week I can be “present”, fine. These are the compromises you make when you love someone. And you do it because it makes them happy, which makes you happy. Meeting the needs of your partner (or at least trying to) is crucial in maintaining a relationship. But that’s another post. 🙂